If you had told me four years ago that I would be writing about this experience on my blog, I wouldn’t have believed you. I have issues expressing weaknesses, especially when they’re ones that could be misunderstood as being crazy or ridiculous. However, as I have lived with the reality of my affliction for several years, I find that I want to talk about it and explain the world from my perspective. Maybe this will help someone understand that anxiety doesn’t have to be crippling or help explain why I can end up in a corner at the change of a plan. Either way, this will take some time to explain, so consider this part one to talk about my diagnosis.
It was junior year of college when I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). It was the Fall and I was living with a roommate and suitemate who liked the same boy, I had a full class load, a sister who was dealing with heart-break, and all of my typical stresses you would deal with. The first sign that something was wrong was during a study session with friends in my room. I suddenly felt dizzy, weak, and short of breath. My suitemate (who was studying to be a physical therapist) took my pulse and found that my heart rate was extremely high for someone at rest. Over the next several days, she would check up on me. No matter how I felt or what I was doing, my heart was pounding. I would still feel dizzy and short of breath at times.
I went to the on campus nurse and they did blood work. Shockingly, everything was normal, and none of them had any idea what was going on. Finally, they asked me questions about stress and other symptoms. I was most assuredly anxious, and since there was no major cause of it, I was diagnosed with GAD. The nurse gave me a low dose of anti-depressant in an effort to balance out my brain chemicals. This seemed to work fairly well and didn’t numb me the way that anti-anxiety medication can. I went to counseling and discussed my problems and was given ways to relax.
However, this was just the beginning. Actually, I don’t know if it was the beginning at all. But that’s for another time…
Well, it is now 2012, and I have a long list of things I want to do differently this year. Most of them have to do with discipline and stress relief, which may not seem to go together, but I think they do…in a major way.
The biggest is exercising regularly. I’m hoping this will help me with the fact that recently stress has been taking a major toll on my body. This should also help me lose weight, which is a major plus. The other piece to my resolution that concerns this blog is the fact that I will be writing more regularly. I intend to update this blog weekly (and update my other blog weekly, so that’s good). Hopefully all of these things will stick throughout this year.
This year should be spectacular. I’m done with school, which means I’m just being a real person and work full-time. I think I’ll enjoy having more time to relax, read, and actually see people. Now I guess we’ll just see if the Mayans were right…
Okay, I know I haven’t written at all this week, but this is still going to be a quick update because I’m getting old (meaning it’s almost 11:00 pm and I’m exhausted).
Yesterday, I visited six apartments in an attempt to find one that I would occupy in September. It may seem ridiculous to try to make this decision in April, but I live in a college town (as in there are four colleges here), so September would be a major time to move. This means I’m trying to get an application done and on a reservation list ASAP. After visiting these apartments (which had been narrowed down after careful review on the internet), I realized that I have no idea what it means to apartment hunt.
Is it better to get the cheapest apartment that doesn’t seem that nice? Should I get the smaller, pricier apartment that I think is cuter? How important is it to have certain utilities included? How much of my income should be dedicated to rent?
In case you couldn’t tell, I’ve never rented an apartment. At eighteen, I went to undergrad, where I lived in dorms for four years. For one semester, I was in University apartments, but it isn’t really the same, since it was the same, basic housing price. When I graduated, I moved back home to save money while I got my MSW. Now that I know I have a full-time job soon, apartment hunting seems to be the logical step, and I will be living alone.
Does anyone have any good tips on apartment hunting? Just trying to pick the best place. I’d hate to regret this decision…