I begin my career as a University of Michigan School of Social Work graduate student in three days. Actually, more like two, since it’s already 7:30 pm on Saturday. Crazy. And terrifying.
At orientation, I found out that there were 1027 applicants this year to the School of Social Work. It’s the most they’ve had since 1977. There are 345 people in the upcoming class. Somehow I made it into that number. I remember back in December (cue Earth, Wind, and Fire) when I was considering not applying. It was the day of the early admissions deadline and I was putting everything together at a friends house. I sat across from my friend that I was studying with and said, “Maybe I shouldn’t click send. Maybe this is a bad idea.” I eventually did, and shortly after began to look at job postings to see what job I could get when U of M turned me down. I was certain they would, there was no point to it.
When I had sent the application, I prayed a very simple prayer. It was basically that the only way I’d get in was if God wanted me to go. I knew that the competition would be high and there would probably be a lot of amazing people applying. However, if God wanted it to happen, it would. So, I let it go. In February, I found out I got in.
Now I’m going…and I’m terrified. When I read about assignments I’ll be completing, I’m scared. When I think about how crazy my internship will be, I’m scared. I feel like I’m out of my league on this one. And yet every time I think about quitting, there’s this little voice that says, “You got in for a reason,” and I feel a bit calmer. Because it’s true, I did get in for a reason, and I’ll get out for that same reason. This year will probably be pure insanity. I’ll be interning 16 hours a week, working 10-15 hours a week, in class 12 hours a week, and doing homework for those classes in all the in between time. Maybe I’ll sleep or eat for some of that down time too, I don’t know. What I DO know is I’m completely called to do this. And I become sure of it when I get excited about class topics like Child Maltreatment, or for working in an environment where I’ll have to learn how to restrain a kid. Normal people don’t find such things exciting. Only people that have a fire put in them.
“Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” James 1:27